A Cynical Fairy Tale

A long time ago someone sent me a short, cynical fairy tale that I found very amusing.

But this post isn't about that fairy tale.

It's about the fairy tale I sent in reply.

For some odd reason the short email sparked my imagination, and I soon met up with Poor Girl, Lassie, Prince Charming, and Beautiful Steed.

I've never really given it a name. I just call it "A Cynical Fairy Tale" or "My Poor Girl Story". If y'all can think up any good names, I'm open to suggestions. ;) ...though perhaps those names are most appropriate.

Over the years I have changed bits and pieces throughout the story, and the copies of these changes are strewn from here to Clear Creek, so I'm never really sure which is the final copy. The one I have in front of me right now may not be the one I actually want set forth as My Poor Girl Story, but oh well.

So--since Dan is diligently working on making the next chapter of TLM just *so*, I will post my fairy tale while we are waiting for Det. Jace Buntley to reappear...*alive*

(This may have to be posted in two or three posts--it's a bit on the longish side.)


~*~*~A Cynical Fairy Tale ~*~*~

Once upon a time there was a witty, understanding, thoughtful, intelligent, polite, handsome, tall, blue-eyed prince named Prince Charming. Prince Charming was the last of the Charming Royalty, and therefore had a beautiful castle in Scotland. Now this meant three things; first, he had *the* coolest accent. Second, he was rich. Third, he was Catholic. (<--In my Fairy Tale, anything goes.)

Somehow Prince Charming had managed to make it all the way to 22 years of age without marrying. This did not go unnoticed. In fact, it was quite noticed. One girl in particular noticed and decided to act upon these noticings. (<--I don't think that's a real word, but it works for my Fairy Tale.) That would account for why one day a not-so-bad-looking-girl happened, very purposely by accident, to run into the young prince. In fact, she ran into him with such force that a good-sized welt appeared on her forehead just seconds after their meeting.

Now, Prince Charming being Prince Charming, he *just happened* to have a small bag of ice for the unsightly bump on Poor Girl's head, and, to go along with it, a compliment for Poor Girl's wounded pride. The world stopped when precious Prince Charming said; "Dear girl, if you let your hair fall in such a way, the slight reddening of your pretty head is entirely covered. Of course, I see no reason for you to do such a thing, but I must confess I find your beautiful tresses quite appealing."

Poor Girl's pride was saved. Prince Charming was a hero. Beautiful Steed was enthralled by the whole scene. Beautiful Steed was the horse upon which Prince Charming rode. (Disclaimer: It is physically impossible for an acronym to exist in my Fairy Tale. Therefore, if--in the hopes of making the story shorter--you acronym anything, the results are the result of your own twisted thinking.)

From that beautiful spring day forward Poor Girl rarely thought of anything but Prince Charming and his Beautiful Steed. She was especially reminded of them when she looked in her mirror and saw the three-inch scar which ran across her right temple. (Please do not bother protesting that welts cannot scar. In my Fairy Tale welts can do anything.) Poor Girl often would run her left ring-finger along her unsightly scar while sighing softly. She especially liked to do this at the dinner table--when Prince Charming was present--just after her father, who was watching them from the head of the table, asked the servant to fetch the firearm that needed cleaning.

The servant, being Scottish, was name Lassie. Some sadistic person named her. Someone who knew she was to be a servant. I suppose they thought there were being funny. 'Til the day she died, Lasie was asked to "fetch" everything from a firearm to her master's slippers. Poor Girl's father thought he was almost as funny as the person who named her. Oh well. No one ever said that life is fair. Oh--wait--yes they did. But they're dead now. Lassie shot them with a firearm her master had just finished cleaning.

Anyway, one night after a particulary loud sigh from Poor Girl, Prince Charming took her aside and said that he would be coming to see her again the following afternoon, and that she should be waiting for him in the garden. Poor Girl happily agreed to this and bid the handsome prince goodnight. But not before Prince Charming kissed her softly and told her she was the sweetest of all womanhood. He also confessed his confusion as to what he had done to deserve her. (In Poor Girl's opinion it had been precious little, but she decided to let it slide.)

~*~*~*~*~*~coming soon~*~*~*~*~*~*~A Cynical Fairy Tale part II~*~*~*~*~