Dear ******,
It's been months since I last heard from you. I have decided to end it. If you have so little regard for me that you would neglect to inform me of major changes in your life, then you haven't enough regard to keep up a respectable relationship. And to think...I thought you still in India! Had your old friend Stephen not told me, I would think you there still! ******. How could you? I look like a fool to all of my friends. And my father, ******! He will never let me forget. Even Mother cannot be convinced to quiet him on the subject of my...singleness. And, so, that being the case, I am marrying Stephen.
Goodbye, ******. I hope you are having a wonderful time in Bangladesh. Oh, and don't think I'm letting you off that easily...I am still expecting a *red* sari when you finally get up the courage to return home.
Sincerely,
Mine
6 comments:
But how could you? I am so sorry! PLEASE give me another chance! I *swear* I will make it up to you, no matter how many saris it takes!
And WHATEVER you do, DON'T MARRY STEPHEN!! He's a total flake!
Like, he still owes me 50 bucks! Good people don't owe money like that!
Bangladesh is pretty cool though... and this place has *the* HOTTEST babes! I mean like WHA-ZOOO baby! OWWWWWWOOOOOOO!!!
Uhhhh... wait a minute, I mean NO! *BAD* me! *BAD* meeeee! I mean, hot as in like... they are going to GO to some place hot when they die! YOU are the only woman HOT enough for me! Rwwwaawwwrrr! Stay true to me, baby, please!
******. You are ruining my Letters.
You're not even the right ******.
HE doesn't have access to a computer.
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